


Haunted Recollections

by RowenaZahnrei



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Abandonment, Acceptance, Advice, Anger, Bitterness, Bonding, Confusion, Courage, Fear, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Honesty, Loneliness, Loss, Love, Miscommunication, Nature, Rebirth, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Denial, alien entity - Freeform, flight, power
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6562558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowenaZahnrei/pseuds/RowenaZahnrei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this sort of hybrid Movieverse/Comicverse story, some time has passed since Jean's return as Phoenix, and she and Scott are growing apart. Will things ever go back to the way they used to be? Should they? </p><p>COMPLETE STORY! Please Review! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men. Please do not sue me or steal my story. Thank you!
> 
> NOTE: This story is a companion piece to an earlier story "Melody of the Stars," but it can stand alone. It was inspired by suggestions sent to me by readers, and by X-Men #109, which I quote from in the story.

Haunted Recollections  
By Rowena Zahnrei

Prologue

The darkened room is silent and still. This late at night, even the ancient pipes within the mansion's walls don't make a sound. The only movement is the occasional rustle of the curtains when the cool night breeze blows through the open window.

Yet, even with the stillness and the silence and the dark, there is something strange about this room. Thick books and medical journals lie scattered over the sofa and small table in the corner. They seem to have been left in a hurry, but a thin coat of dust blankets their covers and pages. Delicate music boxes sit in a row before an oval vanity mirror, their luster similarly dimmed by disuse. The whole space has the solemn, untouched atmosphere of a museum, a thick, reverent air of memory—

Except for the bed.

At first glance, the wide, king-sized bed seems empty and unmade. Moonlight shines against a dinted pillow, the quilt and sheets have been turned down. The rest of the bed reposes in shadow.

The wind picks up. Its chill fingers disturb the wrinkled sheets, cause the curtains to billow out like sails...

At the shadowed end of the bed, an undefined lump shivers beneath the quilt. A pale hand reaches out to the moonlit sheets, only to withdraw quickly when it doesn't touch the warmth it expects to find.

Scott Summers sits up with a gasp. Pulling off his sleep shades and shoving his ruby-quartz glasses onto his face, he stares at the empty space where his fiancée should have been. His jaw tightens when he sees the open window. Climbing awkwardly out of bed, he pushes the curtains aside and peers up into the star-studded sky.

High above the treetops, an ethereal being soars. It is a being of amazing power and grace, an entity of fire and light and song. Its fierce, unearthly beauty makes Scott's pulse quicken despite the pain of loss that sears him at the sight. 

For, this wild, unfettered creature is the Phoenix. And within its consuming flames resides the body of his love, Jean Grey.

To Be Continued...


	2. Haunted Recollections

"Hühnerbraten… Wo ist der Hühnerbraten? Ach!"

With a triumphant grin, Kurt Wagner pulled the container of leftover roasted chicken from the refrigerator and carried it over to the counter. The indigo blue language teacher only needed three or four hours of sleep a night, and with his high metabolism he often required an after-midnight snack to keep him going until breakfast.

Kurt had just finished enjoying a drumstick and was contemplating a second when his pointed ears picked up the creak of a footstep in the hallway. Quickly wiping his intricately scarred hands on a napkin, the long-tailed mutant slid silently out of the room to investigate.

The lights were off and the shades drawn when Kurt poked his head into the sitting room, but his golden eyes could make out every detail. 

Scott sat in the overstuffed chair with his back to the door. From his slouched, sullen posture, Kurt could tell the team leader was in one of his brooding moods, and likely wouldn't appreciate company. He was just about to turn around and leave Scott to his thoughts, when—

"Hi, Nightcrawler." (1)

Kurt blinked in surprise.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked, walking across the room until he was in Scott's line of sight.

"I spotted your shadow on the floor," Scott replied without looking up. "You're the only person at this school with a tail."

Kurt smiled, jumping up to crouch on the chair across from him. 

"Ach. You got me. If it's not the eyes, hands, or skin, the tail is always a dead giveaway."

"Hmm."

Kurt's smile faded. Scott was an intensely private man even at the best of times, and the two of them had never been close. Whatever was bothering him, he probably didn't want to share it with Kurt Wagner.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said after a long moment of uncomfortable silence. "If I'm intruding, I'll go…"

"No," Scott said, rather too quickly. Then he sighed. "You don't have to go, Nightcrawler. If anything, it's me…" 

He shook his head and started to rise. 

"I should be getting back to bed. It's too late to be up."

"Scott, wait," Kurt said, holding out a staying hand. 

Scott paused. 

"Bitte, mein Freund, it is clear to me that something is bothering you. Perhaps it would help to talk…?"

Scott tightened his lips, but sat back down. 

"Look, Nightcrawler," he said. "I know you want to help, but this isn't one of your swashbuckling adventures or circus acts. Real life isn't like theater. A deep, emotional scene won't necessarily make everything better. So thanks but no thanks, OK?"

Someone else might have taken offense at having their offer trivialized like that. Someone else might have walked away and left Scott to his brooding. 

Kurt raised an eyebrow, deciding instead to see Scott's attempt to push him away as a challenge. All this business of respecting Scott's privacy and giving him space had gone on long enough, in Kurt's opinion, and it was getting on his nerves. It was past time he said the words than had been collecting in his heart since he had joined the X-Men over two years before.

"First of all," he said, fixing his team leader with his golden eyes, "I have a name, Scott. Kurt Wagner, remember?" (2)

Scott turned his head away with a scowl, but Kurt didn't stop there.

"You think I'm all fun-and-games, my friend? Because I play with the children and allow myself to laugh and joke and smile?" He glared. "Perhaps you're right. Aside from that incident with Stryker, I've had a pretty easy life so far, I guess - not at all like you. After all, I never had to worry about optic beams. I've only had blue skin since I was born!"

Scott frowned darkly. 

"You trying to be funny?"

Kurt sat back in his chair. 

"Merely making a point," he said. (3) "You've been miserable since I met you, Scott. You keep everyone at a distance - like the way you insist on calling me 'Nightcrawler'. In fact, now I think about it, I don't believe you've ever called me by my real name."

Now it was Scott's turn to glare, his red glasses glowing in the darkness. 

"Just what are you getting at?" he demanded.

"We are what we are, Scott. All of us," Kurt said. "Wishing won't change a blessed thing. Nor will feeling sorry for yourself." (4)

Scott clenched his jaw, but he waited to hear what Kurt would say next.

"I learned very early on that I must either accept what I am, or go mad," Kurt told him. "And though I occasionally act a bit crazy, I am not insane. But," he said, his golden eyes eerily intense as he leaned forward, a shadow among the shadows, "if you keep tearing your guts apart every time you think the world has shafted you, my friend, you'll destroy not only yourself, but those who love you as well." (5)

Scott gave an involuntary shudder and turned away, unsettled by Kurt's penetrating words. He wouldn't have thought the strangely scarred blue man understood him so well…or his feelings about Jean's transformation. It was clear from his expression that was what he was referring to.

"You don't know what it's like," he said, struggling to clamp down on his stirring emotions before they could burst out and betray him. Despite his best efforts, though, his voice came out hoarse, sounding as though the words were being pulled from his throat against this will. "You talk about acceptance, but I can't just throw up my hands and pretend everything's OK. Because it's not! I've tried to look past the changes in her, to act like nothing's different. But I can't deny the truth any longer."

"The truth?" Kurt asked.

"Phoenix is not Jean Grey!" Scott blurted out, speaking much louder than he meant to. "She has Jean's memories, she talks with Jean's voice, but she isn't my Jean!"

Kurt nodded slowly, a barely perceptible movement in the dimness. 

"You're right," he said.

Scott looked up. 

"Huh?"

"You're right," Kurt repeated. "She has changed. And so have I. And so have you."

Scott scowled.

"It's not the same thing."

"Isn't it?" Kurt asked. "I'm sure that if I were to go home to Germany tomorrow, my family there would not recognize me as the same naïve young man who left them six years ago. My experiences here have forced me to grow up a great deal. I now have a greater understanding of the world and my own responsibilities."

Scott shook his head. 

"It's only natural that you'd be more mature now at twenty-five than you were at nineteen. That's the whole point of growing up! That's not what I'm talking about."

"What is, then?"

Scott sighed deeply and bent forward, burying his hands in his hair. Kurt waited patiently until he was ready to speak, but his next words took the blue mutant off guard.

"Kurt," he said, "have you ever heard the song, 'My Immortal' by Evanescence?"

Kurt wrinkled his forehead. 

"I don't know," he said. "How does it go?"

Scott sat back, humming the haunting tune quietly to himself as he tried to recall the words.

" 'I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,' " he sang softly, knowing Kurt's sensitive ears would pick it up, " 'but though you're still with me, I've been alone, all alone...' " (6)

He took in a shaky breath through his nose, calming himself before the tears could start as they always did when he listened to that song; the song that seemed to read his heart so well.

"That's what it's been like," he said. "For so long, I fought to convince myself that Jean was dead. She was drowned in that cursed lake and she was never coming back. Then, one day, there she was at the door. And now, even though she's with me - warm and alive and real - it isn't the same. She's Jean, but at the same time she's not Jean. And I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel! Sometimes…sometimes I almost wish she'd never come back at all."

Even as he said the words, he wanted to bite them back. He shouldn't be telling all this to Nightcrawler - Kurt - whatever. He hadn't even spoken about these feelings to the Professor, and he was like a father to both him and Jean. How could he possibly expect a newcomer like Nigh-Kurt to understand what he was going through, when he wasn't even sure himself?

He looked over at the shadowy outline that was Kurt, seeing the compassion glowing in his strange, golden eyes, and it made him wish he'd kept his mouth shut even more. Especially when Kurt asked his next question.

"How did you two first meet?"

"It was a long time ago," Scott hedged bluntly.

"I gathered that," Kurt acknowledged. "It was shortly after you first came to the mansion, was it not? When you were a child?"

"Teenager," Scott corrected. "Yeah. Man, we were so messed up. I'd been living on the streets and she…" 

He shook his head, catching himself before his tongue slipped even further. 

"Never mind."

Kurt lowered his eyes. 

"I'm sorry," he said. "If this is difficult for you—"

"It's not difficult, OK!" Scott snapped. "It's just… I don't know why I'm even telling you this. I mean, no offense, but I barely know you."

"Unglaublich..."

Kurt shook his head, his tail beating against the back of his chair. 

"We have been living in the same house for two years now, working and training as a team," he pointed out. "We are likely to continue under the same roof for many years to come. Yet, you still view me as an outsider. A stranger. And you refuse to trust me as a friend."

Scott straightened in his chair. 

"Don't give me that," he snapped. "I've gone out of my way to make you feel welcome here."

"But you still have not accepted me, as you have Doktor McCoy, for example."

"That's different," Scott protested. "Hank was part of the original team before he went away to school. We grew up together—"

"Exactly." Kurt nodded. "Hank's return to the mansion was a return to familiarity for you. It was his absence that was wrong."

Scott frowned.

"That's ridiculous..."

Kurt sighed, his expression sad. 

"I used to think that you kept your distance from me because you resented me," he said quietly. "I joined the team so shortly after Jean's loss, after all. I was afraid you viewed me as an unworthy replacement. But now I realize, it wasn't me you resented. It was the change itself."

"What exactly are you trying to say, Kurt?"

"That perhaps it is not Phoenix you should be blaming for your loneliness, Scott. Perhaps the problem rests with you."

"With me?" Scott repeated incredulously. 

Kurt nodded.

"Jean still loves you, Scott. But, because she did not return exactly as you remembered her, you are finding that you cannot return her feelings. Instead, you've built a wall around your heart, a wall not even Doktor Grey can break through."

Scott furrowed his brow. 

"You've talked with her," he realized, starting to get angry.

"Many times," Kurt said calmly. "She's worried about you, Scott. So is everyone else who knew you before Alkali Lake. They remember a Scott Summers who knew how to smile; a young man with a wise mouth who loved fast cars and dangerous motorcycles and would go out dancing all night before an exam. Logan and I have never met that man. And, unless you learn to stop longing for the past and accept the present, my friend, I'm afraid we never will."

Scott flared his nostrils, fighting to keep a check on his swelling anger.

"You still don't get it, do you," he growled. "You've had a few heart-to-hearts with Phoenix, so you think you know me - that you know 'us.' But you don't. And neither does she if she thinks I don't live in the present."

"Then what's wrong? Why can't you learn to accept that Jean and Phoenix are one and the same and that she loves you?"

"Because—" 

Scott started strong, then he seemed to crumple in on himself, averting his eyes from Kurt's as if ashamed of what he had to say. 

"Because," he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper, "...because she doesn't need me anymore."

Kurt narrowed his eyes. 

"What makes you think that?" he asked.

"She has Phoenix now!" Scott snapped. "She doesn't need me."

He sighed deeply, his eyes glowing fiercely behind his ruby-quartz glasses as he went on, unable to stop now that he'd begun.

"Jean…" he said, "Jean was never very sure of herself. Not like Phoenix. You don't know this, but when she first came here it was as a patient, not a student. When she was ten years old, her best friend Annie Richardson was hit by a car. Jean ran to her and well, the shock must have somehow awakened her latent telepathy. She 'felt' her friend die as she held her in her arms."

"Mein Gott," Kurt breathed. "That must have been terribly traumatic for such a young child."

"Yeah..." Scott nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah, it was. Jean couldn't control her telepathy after that. In order to keep the voices she heard from overwhelming her mind, she tried to isolate herself from everyone. She withdrew into her room and refused to come out. After a year of visits from psychiatrists who could only scratch their heads and suggest it was some kind of childhood schizophrenia, her parents finally contacted Professor Xavier. He recognized the problem at once and set up a series of mental shields that effectively left her unable to access her telepathic abilities. He taught her how to control her telekinesis, though, and after a few years he talked her parents into letting her attend his new school.

"Back then, there were only five of us here. I was the first, then there was Warren Worthington, Hank McCoy, Ororo, and finally Jean. She was 'the new girl,' you know? And she was so shy. Warren and Hank were too concerned with themselves to take much notice of her, and Ororo had her own problems learning English and controlling her powers. That left me, as the leader, to make her feel like she was part of the team."

"That must have been hard for you," Kurt commented.

"Maybe at first," Scott admitted. "But not after I got to know her. I was the one who helped her find her confidence. I helped her deal with the nightmares she got after the Professor removed her shields. I saw a strength in her she could never seem to see in herself and she, in turn, taught me how to let down my guard enough to relax - something I could never afford to do before."

"Because of your powers?" Kurt hazarded. 

Scott nodded.

"When my optic beams first manifested, it was explosive to say the least," he said. "I actually took out a crane. It had been carrying this huge metal bar across a city construction site, and when I blew it up, the bar started to fall. I managed to destroy it before it hit anyone, but the crowd thought I'd been trying to kill them."

"Ah yes," Kurt said. "Angry mobs I can understand. How did you escape?"

Scott actually smiled at Kurt's interest. 

"I caught a freight train to another city, where I was taken in by a thief by the name of Jack O'Diamonds. I made my living on the streets for some time after that, until the Professor finally tracked me down - with the help of the F.B.I. of all people! That's how I became the first of Xavier's X-Men." (7)

Kurt grinned. 

"That is an amazing story, mein Freund. But it must have been very difficult, learning to live with such a dangerous power."

Scott snorted. 

"Yeah, that's an understatement," he said. "I blew out the Danger Room wall several times before the Professor was able to develop my visor. Until he did, I had to practice very strict control. I didn't want to risk hurting anyone - or anything. An orphaned street-rat like me couldn't afford to upset the smart rich guy who fed him, you know?"

Kurt chuckled. 

"Ja. You know, we actually have a lot in common don't we. We're both orphans, we're both mutants, we both know what it's like to be chased by a raging mob…"

"And we are both X-Men," Scott added, holding out his fist. 

Kurt blinked, then beamed as he raised his own three-fingered fist to meet Scott's.

"You got that right, mein Kapitän," he said, leaning back in his chair. "So, tell me. How did Jean manage to break through your strictly controlled exterior to find the motorcycle enthusiast within?"

Scott shrugged, starting to get uncomfortable again. 

"She needed me," he said, as if it were the simplest explanation in the world. "She trusted me. No one had ever relied on me like that before. No one had ever cared about me the way she did. She made me feel like I could be the leader everyone expected me to be. And, as I helped her become more confident of her abilities, she helped me become more confident of mine. It's like that song again… 'You cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. You'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears. I held your hand for all of these years…' " (8)

" 'But you still left on me,' " Kurt finished softly. "Ja, I do remember that song now."

"And she did leave, didn't she." Scott frowned. "And now…" 

He trailed off, his glasses glowing as he turned his head to face the far wall.

"She still needs you, you know," Kurt said, his tail swaying slowly behind him. 

Scott didn't respond for a long time. When he did speak, his voice sounded strangely distant.

"I watched her tonight," he said. "Flying over the grounds. She was so…beautiful. So free. With power like that, there's nothing to be scared of anymore. Nothing can hurt her, not even the freezing vacuum of space. She's just staying with me out of pity now. Out of a memory of love from another lifetime. All that's left of our life together is a collection of haunted recollections, as dusty as the medical journals she hasn't touched since her return."

"You're wrong, Scott," Kurt said, his eyes bright. "Jean is afraid. She just doesn't want you to see."

Scott frowned, his brow furrowing above his glasses. 

"What do you mean?"

"She wants to be the woman you remember," Kurt told him. "It tears her up inside to know how much her transformation has hurt you. So, she tries to pretend she has everything under control, to pretend the Phoenix Force is just another power, like telepathy or telekinesis. But it isn't. Jean and Phoenix share a precarious balance; a symbiotic life. So far, Jean has managed to retain dominance. But she is terrified of what might happen if her personality proves too weak to keep the Phoenix's powers in check. And she is even more afraid that her inner struggle will cause her to lose you."

Scott gaped, not sure whether to feel outraged or concerned or angry. He settled for confused and defensive.

"What!" he exclaimed. "That's ridiculous! Is this the kind of nonsense you guys talk about when I'm not around?"

Kurt shrugged. 

"Pretty much, ja. But it isn't nonsense, Scott. Lots of times, the more powerful you are, the more you need a hand to hold. The potential of Jean's new powers frighten her deeply, and she needs you to tell her she'll make it through all right."

"Why me?" Scott asked stubbornly. "If you two are such great friends, why don't you tell her?"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Kurt said disapprovingly. "Jean doesn't deserve your resentment. She bonded with the Phoenix Force in a desperate attempt to save all of our lives."

"No." Scott shook his head, his tone bitter. "No, she'd been in communication with that alien thing for weeks before the dam burst at Alkali Lake. And, she didn't mention it to me even once. She was too busy flirting with Logan."

"That is something you will have to discuss with her," Kurt said. "All I know is that Jean may have felt an attraction for Logan, but she is in love with you."

Scott sighed, looking down at his hands in his lap. 

"I know," he said tiredly. "I'm sorry. I'm just…"

"Angry?" Kurt suggested. 

Scott looked up.

"Yeah!"

"Then why don't you tell her so? Why keep everything locked away inside?"

Scott shook his head. 

"I can't just…" 

He took a deep breath, then let it out. 

"I have to set an example," he said. "For the students, for the team…"

"Some example," Kurt snorted. "Why don't you just have it out with her once and for all? Tell her how furious you are. Tell her how much she hurt you. She's a telepath, Scott. She'll understand."

"But I can't…I don't—" 

Scott sighed, frustrated. 

"What if she doesn't, Kurt? What if I end up chasing her away? If she left me again... I don't think I could stand it."

"But, don't you see, Scott," Kurt said, "it is your silence that's pushing her away. She could understand your anger. But the truth is, with all the tension that's built up between you over these past few months, she's just as scared and confused as you are."

Scott groaned, tearing his fingers through his hair.

"Look, Kurt," he said, "what do you suggest? How do I fix this mess my stubbornness has gotten us into?"

Kurt smiled. 

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah," Scott said. "I really want to know."

"Talk with her."

"And if it turns out things really can't go back to the way they were?"

"Scott," Kurt said seriously, "if you really want her to stay with you, you're going to have to stop thinking like that right now. Accept her for who and what she is, not what you want her to be. That is my advice, mein Freund. Just love her."

Scott sat back, blinking behind his glasses. Whether he'd meant them to or not, Kurt's words had sparked a memory…the memory of a song…and, suddenly, everything Kurt had been telling him became clear. For the first time in months, Scott felt his heart start to lighten - and even become a little playful.

"Simply love her?" he asked, a small smile starting to creep across his face as he wondered if Kurt would pick up on the musical reference. To his satisfaction, Kurt's eyes brightened, and he played along.

"Merely love her," Kurt sang the words, smiling himself as Scott joined in for the last few bars. "Love her…love her." (9) 

As their song trailed off, the two men began to chuckle. But, the sky was brightening now beyond the shades, and Kurt found himself stifling a yawn.

"I'd better be off to bed, mein Freund," he said apologetically. "I can still catch two hours sleep before breakfast."

Scott nodded as Kurt rose to his feet. 

"Thanks Kurt," he said. "Talking about this did actually help."

Kurt shrugged, and offered Scott one of his characteristic smiles. 

"Is that not what teammates are for?" he asked.

"It's what friends are for," Scott said sincerely. "I really appreciate it."

"Then why are you still sitting there?" Kurt asked. "Go talk with Jean!"

"I will," Scott said. "I promise. You've just given me a lot to think about. Good night, Kurt."

"Good night, Scott. And good luck."

Scott watched his friend stride into the hallway and disappear in a flash of black and purple smoke. Then, he stood up and walked across the room to open the shades. Jean was still out there, welcoming the approaching dawn with her gracefully wild dance. Smiling softly to himself, Scott headed outside to join her.

To Be Concluded...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References (1) - (5) are paraphrased from X-Men #109: Home Are the Heroes.
> 
> References (6) + (8) are quoted from the song "My Immortal" by Evanescence.
> 
> Reference (7) is for Jean and Scott's histories, which were compiled from a bunch of Internet and comic book research mixed with a dash of my own imagination.
> 
> Reference (9) refers to the song "How to Handle A Woman" from the Lerner and Loewe musical "Camelot."
> 
> The Epilogue is still to come! Stay Tuned!


	3. Epilogue

Epilogue

Scott Summers stands alone on the dew-sprinkled lawn watching the spring sunrise, the brilliant purples, pinks, and golds tinted in shades of crystal red by his glasses. All around him the sounds of living things stirring to greet the dawn pulse and swell in a strange, harmonious rhythm. 

But, the twittering birds and buzzing insects mean nothing to him. His eyes are fixed on their conductor, Jean Grey.

An involuntary thrill of fear causes his jaw to set as he watches her dance, leaving a trail of fire across the sky. He feels so tiny before this awesome display of raw power, so insignificant. 

Yet, despite his intimidation, he forces himself to stay. He has retreated from her too many times in the past. This time, he is determined to stand his ground.

As he stares up into the slowly brightening sky, the blazing raptor that is the Phoenix pauses in the air, its wings of orange flame outstretched and crackling with unbridled energy. The outline of the fearsome bird is blinding, but Scott's ruby-quartz shielded gaze cuts through the light, allowing him to focus on the smaller, darker form hovering at its heart.

Jean Grey is a living shadow in a roaring furnace, her long, red hair whipping around her face like the slender, stinging tentacles of an anemone. Her wide eyes burn fiercely in her pale face, crackling and flashing with bright, white-gold light. 

Scott can't help but take a step back, his sudden movement catching the avatar's attention.

Their eyes meet, and a look of shocked trepidation twists her face. Scott recognizes the vulnerability in her expression with a jolt of surprise, watching in alarm as the wild fire fades from her eyes...leaving only a warm, familiar green. The flames around her flicker out, the melody she inspired wavering and breaking into the unstructured sounds of morning.

For one brief moment, Jean hangs suspended in the air...then begins to fall...

"NOO! Jean!"

Scott runs to catch her, crashing to his knees with the impact as he folds her slender body into the safety of his arms.

"Don't you do that to me!" he finds himself screaming, burying his face in her shoulder, hot tears streaming down his face. "Don't you scare me like that! My God, Jean, if I hadn't caught you…"

"Scott!" she gasps, disoriented and frightened. "What are you doing up so early? I wouldn't have gone out tonight if I'd known—"

"If you'd known what?" Scott demands, his eyes glowing dangerously behind his glasses. "What! That I'd be worried about you? That I'd be angry that you ran off without telling me where you were going or what you were doing?"

Jean stares up at him, wide-eyed and speechless.

"Do you ever think of how I might feel, waking up in the middle of the night to find you gone?" he cries. "Do you ever stop to wonder how frightened I'd be for you? I love you, Jean! I don't deserve this!"

"I-I'm sorry," Jean stammers. "I was afraid you wouldn't understand—"

"You didn't exactly give me a chance to, did you! You just vanished on me, without saying a word. As if I meant nothing to you!"

"No!" Jean exclaims, stunned to sense a powerful wave of emotions sweep over her mind - emotions Scott has kept carefully shielded from her, from everyone, since her return. "No, Scott, it was because you mean everything to me! I was trying to protect you from…from what I've become..."

Scott's fierce expression cracks, crumbling into shame and deep sadness as he reaches out with a gentle finger to trace the side of her face. Jean leans into his touch, her tears swelling behind her long eyelashes as she squeezes her eyes closed and pulls her fiancé into a tight embrace.

"Oh, Jean," Scott sobs, rocking her slightly as he presses his cheek against her vibrant hair. "I'm so sorry. I've been such an ass about everything. I just…I've been so afraid… I didn't know what to do."

"Afraid?" Jean repeats, her uncertainty returning. "Afraid of Phoenix?"

"No," Scott says quickly, straightening his back to look her in the eye. "Not exactly."

"Then what, Scott?"

"I was afraid you…that you don't need me anymore. Jean, I don't want to lose you again!"

Jean gasps in comprehension as his powerful emotions flood her mind. At once, she can see the past few months through his eyes, and the bleakness and fear is crushing. The sheer depth of his loyalty and love for her is humbling, and Jean finds herself ashamed. Ashamed she didn't trust him; ashamed she has treated his love so lightly for so long. 

She sends these feelings to him in a wave, reawakening the mental link that has lain stubbornly dormant for months. Fear and confusion give way to understanding, the love they have always shared rising to the top of this churning stream of shared emotion. Lost to a sudden rush of happiness, the two of them melt slowly into a long, passionate kiss...

By the time they finally part, the sun is peeking over the horizon. Jean feels its energy throbbing through her, filling her with the need to dance. But with Scott beside her, wrapped in her arms, she knows she must suppress this drive. Turning her back to the sun, she looks past her love's glasses and into his eyes—

Only to see a glare of disapproval. Their mental link is still open. He is feeling what she feels, and it is making him angry.

"Scott," she starts, but he will have none of it.

"If this is going to work," he tells her with a frown, "that kind of attitude is going to have to stop. Do you want to finish your dance?"

"Not if you don't want me to."

"That is not what I asked," Scott says sharply, his frown deepening. "Do you want to finish your dance?"

"Yes."

Scott nods, his frown dissolving into an approving smile. 

"Then go do it."

Jean blinks in surprise. 

"But... I thought—"

"You thought wrong," Scott says. "Phoenix is a part of you, Jean. I understand that. If the part of you that is her needs to go out every morning and greet the dawn, I don't have a problem with that. What gets me mad is you thinking you have to suppress a part of yourself in order to be with me. Quit it. And I mean now."

Jean smiles at that; the same broad, playful smile that had caught and held Scott's heart so many years ago. 

And in that moment, he knows. The doubt and fear and worry weighing down his heart is washed away, and he knows. 

Kurt was right. Phoenix Force or not, the woman smiling up at him is still his Jean. And for the first time since her return, he accepts her love without any reservation.

"Go on," he says, releasing her from his arms and helping her to her feet. "Say hi to the sun for me."

Jean chuckles quietly, then looks up at him, her green eyes glittering with appraising curiosity.

"Hey, Scott," she says, leaning in to close the distance between them once more. "How would you feel about joining me this morning?"

"What, me? Fly?"

"Sure." Jean smiles, taking him by the hand. "You're not scared, are you?"

Scott looks like he's about to protest, but then his shoulders relax and he meets her eyes with the truth. 

"Maybe a little," he admits.

She grins, raising her eyebrows as she ignites her flames around them both. 

"You should be," she tells him. "But don't worry. The danger is half the fun."

The responsible leader in Scott stiffens at the concept of linking danger with fun. But, somewhere deeper, Jean's words spark an eager light in the heart of the far more reckless youth he'd once been. Taking his own advice, Scott lowers his guard and lets his love lead him into the sky...

The flickering flames of the Phoenix Force surround and permeate them. Jean guides him over the rustling treetops in graceful swoops and thrilling dives. The orange flames blend with Jean's long, red hair and fill her eyes with fire. It is a truly awe-inspiring sight, and Scott Summers feels it to his very bones.

This is his love, blazing like a star in the early morning sky. It is the vibrant melody she inspires that pounds through him, opening his heart to the wonder of the dawn. 

Scott spreads his arms to embrace the thrumming beat, feeling his pride swell in his chest - a joy that is almost frighteningly intense. But, the reason for his joy is not simply the dance. It is that Jean is sharing it with him, that she wants him here beside her, holding her hand. The depth of her love is humbling, but it is a love he is now certain they will always share.

The End


End file.
